The DIGITAL GIMP QUARTERLY TRENDS

ONCE EVERY THREE MONTHS, WE PULL DG FROM THE BOOT OF HIS JAG SHIRLEY, TO GIVE US HIS QUARTERLY LOW DOWN ON THE HOTTEST TRENDS AROUND. THIS QUARTER HE TURNS HIS SIGHTS ON THE TRENDS IN THE ALL IMPORTANT AGENCY PARAPHERNALIA MARKET.

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THE DIGITAL GIMP'S 9 MUST HAVE AGENCY ARTEFACTS

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over-designed sofas

Expensive elaborately designed sofas that are uncomfortable as f#@k to actually sit on but convey the kind of future thinking form over function vibe the agency is known for. Usually have food stains on them.

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Beer tap

Beer tap that’s never connected and has mould in the lines but used as an example when clients are in of how to do company culture. Clients always love how a couple of free beers on a Friday night can make up for the slave wages and 100 hour weeks

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vintage typewriter

Vintage typewriter on a shelf because analog is where it is at and books written in the old times are still cool - plus the agency creates micro pop-up banner ads for mobile browsers just like Hemingway.

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Shit graffiti

Shit graffiti wall with ‘inspirational’ mantras on it, like ‘Curious mind, Courageous heart, Selfless drive.’ Painted over in magnolia as soon as the agency sells to WPP.

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Coffee-table design books

Why not stop by and not read some of the industry magazines, design principle coffee-table books and hefty strategy manuals meticulously strewn around the place. Don’t worry, we haven’t read them either as we’re too busy reading MailOnline on the shitter, trying to get over last night’s escalation at Bario.

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paid for awards

Paid for awards spilling off every surface because agencies know how to give a good industry reacharound and are a nice reminder to senior management that it pays to disregard your customer and make ads for coked-up European panels.

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Vintage boxing gloves

Vintage boxing gloves hanging on a wall that signify the faux fight of the agency trying to do good in a tough and complex world. A handy alert of the complete lack of original ideas in the agency. The boss also puts them on sometimes ‘for a laugh’. Nobody laughs.

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Occasional office dog

Occasional office dog called Tony to soothe underpaid, overworked staff between bi-monthly ‘pizza parties’ and who appears on the About Us page of website as one of the board as ab examine of wacky and creative the agency is.

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table tennis

Table tennis table with one bat and an angry post-it note on it asking you not to use it as people are trying to work. Also used for ‘awesomely cool’ ideation meetings and as a ‘lunch & learn’ pizza table.

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THE DIGITAL GIMP

He sleeps in the boot of his S-Class Jag Shirley, he’s a middle-aged trend setter, and he gets very angry when the world gets ahead of him without him noticing (so he does his best not to take his eyes off it). Once a Colossus of the Creative Industries, now not so much. He’s looking for redemption in the Lady Grey tea leaves of future innovation, and he is so confident he is on to something that he has just got himself a desk (with lockable storage) at WeWork. He’s our very own DG and he is soon to have his own show on Sky Channel 679.