END OF THE WORLD NEW PRODUCT DEVELOPMENT TEAM

BREXIT IS HERE WITH A NO DEAL KNUCKLE DUSTER READY TO SPLIT YOUR FAMILY IN TWO, DESTROY YOUR BUSINESS AND INCREASE STANDARD QUEUING TIMES FOR EVERYTHING FROM BUTTER TO THE BARBERS ACROSS THE UK BY 600%. BUT FEAR NOT, THE NPD TEAM HAS BEEN SWEATING HOT NEW IDEAS LIKE AN AUGUST HOLIDAY MAKER IN A SPANISH BEACH PORT- ALOO, AND HAS IDEATED SOME CRACKING NEW PRODUCTS TO HELP YOU GET THROUGH THE WORST OF IT.

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HOW DO WE MONETISE THIS NO DEAL BREXIT?

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 LORRY BNB

Whether you love motor-side breaks or are stuck in a 6-mile tailback at port entry points, these lorry-come-luxury double bedrooms are perfect. Just kick back, unwind and enjoy 5 days of your 7 day holiday in the back of an articulated lorry while waiting to cross the channel.

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MORRISEY’S NON-EU AUTHENTIC ITALIAN SAUCE

Move over Lloyd Grossman. Morrissey is here to save the day with this delicious ragu made in Wrexham. Flavour profiles are in abundance thanks to EU-breaking standards of salt, and no unpatriotic foreign non-English produce have been used in this authentic tasting tasty sauce. Take that EU!

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IKEA FLAT PACK EUROPEAN PANIC ROOM

Need somewhere safe but accessible to hide from marauding anti-European Brexiters? This fetching, easy to assemble panic room comes complete with bulletproof glass and enough room for up to 5 people to lie in the foetal position on the floor. Fits perfectly at the bottom of an English garden.