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April 2020

Brand storytelling in a fragmented augmented & virtual world becomes the massive challenge.

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Oct 2020

Mono-channel interruption advertising dies! (sniff sniff – some bearded people cry but most don’t notice).

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june 2021

Multi-platform virtual brand narrative experiences are the answer and become the norm.

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Aug 2021

Brand advocates are suddenly worth their weight in gold (average weight of a brand advocate generally around 75 kilos – price of a kilo of gold is £31,535.... you do the math!).

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April 2022

Finally, after more than 100 years of using the marketing funnel the wrong way up (because men don’t read instructions) – the funnel is finally inverted meaning marketeers begin to spend more money on creating advocates out of current customers than trying to carpet-bomb disinterested consumers with messaging while they look down at their phones!

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dec 2021

Awareness through Amplification of Activation is the bomb! and is found written on many Shoreditch pub toilet walls (sometimes including a mobile number that no-one has ever called).

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sept 2022

‘Moment marketing’ – a phrase coined in Shoreditch to describe how advertisers need to use data to only advertise at the right moment at the right time in the right place – becomes the new buzz word across the world and Harvard immediately sets up an online YouTube Masters degree in the subject.

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jan 2023

Parallel Partners’ (another term coined in Shoreditch – every monkey has its day and writes a Shakespeare play, and this one is Shoreditch’s it seems) describing the way advertisers must become their customer’s life partner only nudging them towards products & services in the right place at the right time in the right way – goes viral and Harvard Town twins with Shoreditch in recognition of its awesomeness.

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march 2023

Opt-in always-on partner advertiser brand experience moments become the only acceptable form of advertising. All other types of advertising are ignored and sometimes worse, are ridiculed and the creatives responsible are kidnapped by mobs and paraded in squares across the world and have their beards shaved off on live television.

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july 2023

Advertising is now a parallel experiential world that brand advocates opt into for weeks at a time. All other advertising messages are blocked out through advertiser controlled preference settings on iContact lenses.

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jan 2024

Advertising finally returns to its local 1 to
1 relationship marketing roots – Mom and Pop become the new Creative Heads of the World Advertising Agency (WAA)...

april 2025

The world as we know it no longer exists. And no one f#@king cares about advertising as they spend most of their time queuing for food. But branding does return to its roots as people start to get logos burnt on to their skin to indicate their continued allegiance to the brands of the past that caused the end of the world by selling us shit we didn’t need. Amen.